Untitled

“pay attention to me when I’m ignoring you”
-women

When someone looks over my shoulder while I’m on the computer, I open up a new tab and start searching, “HOW TO KILL THE PERSON BEHIND ME.”

Today, I got a new XBox 360, 4g Android phone, and $300, FREE!

It’s like this gun is MAGIC!

When you’re cutting something and the scissors glide.

Fuck yes.

I like it when I open a document and my monitor says WORD.

And I’m like, YO.

Scientific Fact: An adult blue whale if laid lengthwise on basketball court would result in the game being cancelled.

if zombies ever try and attack me I’ll run to my bed and lay legos around my bed. try and get to me now bitches.

Children laughing is so cute, except when im home alone & the powers out shit.

Nothing quite says “I’m single and looking for sex” like standing in a dark alley with a knife at 2 in the morning.

I will post anything that entertains me.